Who I Am Is Not Who I Really Am
I am a free spirit and I think that I am not really free. I am a prisoner of my own device- a prisoner to a system that I do not like being a part of. It sucks! I can't entirely and completely be who I want to be, can't be whom I am, can't live my life the way I want to live it- I have to earn a living within the "limits of reason"- and obey the rules of a societal hierarchy that I do not like- because I see it as "corporate America". I am a prisoner of fear, a prisoner of my church, a prisoner of social mores, a prisoner of a lot of rules I don't even like or appreciate. I am a prisoner who knows that if I say "the wrong thing" at church or to any of my "so-called-friends", I may be ostracized or "punished" emotionally, socially and that is really screwed.
I was born in 1948. I am 57. I was a hippy in the era of 1971-1976 or 77. In the early years of that time, I smoked pot, took speed once in a while, sometimes downers, tried snorting coke, and took LSD several times. I loved smoking pot the most! It was my "drug of choice."
And I lived rather aimlessly, without goals or direction. I lived to get high and have fun. By myself and with others.friends. I never like being lonely-i.e. and always longed for someone to love who would love me back. But I lived in such a stoned-out haze, and was so irresponsible, I did not realize that a commitment of love means that you do something more than exist for the moment. And I was not doing that.
I knew plenty of people who were getting stoned too, but they seemed to be living productive lives which were rich and full of the kinds of experiences I wanted! Or were they?
A productive happy life full of the rich and varied experiences which puts one out there ahead, in the race.. how does that happen? It isn't a college degree which causes it. It isn't wealth or an abundance of money which causes it. It isn't "knowing the right kind of people" which causes it."
Can I "develop" it? Improve on it? Do something more? Do more than think about it? What REALLY makes life great? Having a good "joint" and some great music?
CHANGE MY ATTITUDE! MY THINKING PROCESSES. THE WAY I REACT TO LIFE! CHANGE MY ACTIVITIES. GET OFF MY LAZY DUFF AND DO SOMETHING NOW, TODAY- THIS MOMENT. STOP JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. DO SOMETHING.
IF IT MEANS GETTING AWAY FROM THE NEGATIVE INFLUENCES OF OTHERS, THEN DO SO! BUT IF IT MEANS GETTING AWAY FROM YOURSELF BECAUSE WITHIN THE CONFINES OF YOUR OWN MIND, YOU ARE PRODUCING NEGATIVE INFLUENCES, THEN DO IT. CHANGE THE NEGATIVE INFLUENCES YOU ARE CREATING TODAY.
Who is in control of your mind, anyway?
I was born in 1948. I am 57. I was a hippy in the era of 1971-1976 or 77. In the early years of that time, I smoked pot, took speed once in a while, sometimes downers, tried snorting coke, and took LSD several times. I loved smoking pot the most! It was my "drug of choice."
And I lived rather aimlessly, without goals or direction. I lived to get high and have fun. By myself and with others.friends. I never like being lonely-i.e. and always longed for someone to love who would love me back. But I lived in such a stoned-out haze, and was so irresponsible, I did not realize that a commitment of love means that you do something more than exist for the moment. And I was not doing that.
I knew plenty of people who were getting stoned too, but they seemed to be living productive lives which were rich and full of the kinds of experiences I wanted! Or were they?
A productive happy life full of the rich and varied experiences which puts one out there ahead, in the race.. how does that happen? It isn't a college degree which causes it. It isn't wealth or an abundance of money which causes it. It isn't "knowing the right kind of people" which causes it."
Can I "develop" it? Improve on it? Do something more? Do more than think about it? What REALLY makes life great? Having a good "joint" and some great music?
CHANGE MY ATTITUDE! MY THINKING PROCESSES. THE WAY I REACT TO LIFE! CHANGE MY ACTIVITIES. GET OFF MY LAZY DUFF AND DO SOMETHING NOW, TODAY- THIS MOMENT. STOP JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. DO SOMETHING.
IF IT MEANS GETTING AWAY FROM THE NEGATIVE INFLUENCES OF OTHERS, THEN DO SO! BUT IF IT MEANS GETTING AWAY FROM YOURSELF BECAUSE WITHIN THE CONFINES OF YOUR OWN MIND, YOU ARE PRODUCING NEGATIVE INFLUENCES, THEN DO IT. CHANGE THE NEGATIVE INFLUENCES YOU ARE CREATING TODAY.
Who is in control of your mind, anyway?
posted by Skyephire at 8:46 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home